I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
