it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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