Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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