tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
