It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
