Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
