It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
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