i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
