Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
