My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
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