I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
