Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
