Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
