it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
as a side note pls kill me
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
