My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
