I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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