I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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