Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
