The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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