I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
