Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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