I hate all girls vehemently.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
