I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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