Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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