no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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