I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
