he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
