whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize