Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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