PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize