if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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