It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Don't EVER smell your tampon
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Randomize