I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize