you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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