Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
