So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
