I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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