SEEEEXXX PLEASE
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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