So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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