A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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