i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
