Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I need water and some morals
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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