I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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