youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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