He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
