Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
