You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
