good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
