Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
