break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
