Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
