We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
