Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Sext me about skeletons
You've changed since you got that strap on
Randomize
