Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
