using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
