I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
