u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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