I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
