Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
