Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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