I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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