I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
